Recently I swallowed my pride and added texting to my phone. Which brings up the rather obvious question: how fascinating has my twitter feed now become? Not very, unfortunately. There is, however, a more useful question: how is adding texting a matter of swallowing my pride?
One my of traits/flaws is I take an odd pride in many things that are, well, not usually matter for pride. Let us take texting. My family members were early adopters of cell phones (I remember the giant, clunky, gray things my parents used to have) but we resisted texting when it became more normal (or rather, most of us just didn’t bother). One by one they caved; one sister and my father were the biggest surprises, but a few years ago I became the only person in my immediate family to not have any sort of texting plan. And I decided it was a badge of honor, of sorts.
Likewise, several other unique and potentially problematic traits have become to me matters of pride. The fact that I do not like seafood, cheese, or mushrooms (with exceptions for certain dishes) has become something I do not wish to change. If people suggest I try this or that because it’s so good, I simply shoot down the option if it involves one of those three foods (incidentally, this makes it quite difficult to eat any variety on Friday’s during Lent. I mostly just have pasta).
Now is my pride here particularly insidious? No, it’s really rather lame when you think about it (which I, as the one taking pride, have tried not to do. No one wants their attributes to be pathetic). But it has allowed me to see something about myself: that I desire a certain (absurd) individuality at the expense of useful things (good dinners, the opportunity to actual keep up on events with people who don’t like talking on the phone, no overage charges for those friends who keep forgetting I don’t (didn’t) have texting, etc.). My pride deformed these things into little evils which I was better off for not having. I would accentuate their flaws (referring, for example, to a friend who sent several hundred texts in one day or emphasizing that cheese and mushrooms have fungus connections) to make me seem better in comparison.
Is texting a great victory? Perhaps not, but it is a victory. I have moved toward a better understanding of myself and have found a small battle which I can wage against my own selfishness and push me along the path to full and proper integration.